Before I go any further, it should be said that I HATE new year's eve for a few particular reasons that do not change if the year in question has been good, bad, or bat shit crazy. NYE is simply a combination of many things that I utterly detest (champagne, noise, annoyingly enthusiastic people) and a few that I utterly loath.
- I HATE endings. Endings of seasons, endings of vacations, endings of a series, endings of a photoshoot, endings of a cup of tea. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
- I hate looking back on a year's worth of good memories and bad ones. New Year's Eve is total a memory overload, fueled by dessert and sugary drinks. It's like going through photos on your phone and the next thing you know, it's been an hour, it's dark outside, and you feel weirdly lonely.
- NYE is always the worst introvert's hangover of the year. Not sure what an introvert's hangover is? Read this.
- .Without a doubt, you are missing out on a party somewhere. And there's nothing you can do about it.
- But the thing I hate most about New Year's Eve, is that there are no guarantees on what the next day will bring. Now I know that every night is an eve to the next day and that day could be the worst or the best of your life, but somehow the risk seems heightened on this night. It's the end of one year and the beginning of another - a clean slate, a blank canvas, an empty journal, ready to be filled with moments, large and small - intimidating, scary, full of unknowns.
And that's okay.
There's no reason what so ever why New Year's Eve has to be the best night of the year, just as there's no reason why this blog post has to be the best one all year. Letting go of all expectations is the best thing one can do. That, and thinking back on the quiet moments from the past 12 months. Not the moments of sheer bliss, or ones of heartbreak, but the simple moments of true happiness.
This morning I had a really strong cup of tea, a fresh egg from our chickens, and a piece of toast. Yesterday I spent all my time painting and watching James Bond movies on Netflix. Last week I went for a really nice walk. I sacrificed the couch, the carpet, and all formerly smooth surfaces in the house to two furry orange kitties. I spent lots of time with family. I met some incredible people and had some awesome experiences. And I learned how to make chocolate covered pretzels.
Yes, there were many scary phone calls, moments of panic, doctors appointments, and disappointments, but overall I'll look back on 2014 as being a year of growth and change.
I learned how to travel by myself. I learned to let myself evolve. And I learned that I'm truly terrible at cutting my own hair.
But really, what more could I ask for?
So Happy New Year, friends, and have a happy last day of 2014. I hope that your 2015 is full of opportunities, adventures, and even more photos of Benedict Cumberbatch in a tux.
Thanks for the memories.