~ thankful ~

There are many things I'm thankful for....chocolate, fleece-lined leggings, teachers who post their powerpoints online, etc., etc.  But this year, I'm thankful for some of the most basic things a human being can be thankful for, but that many people must go without on a daily basis.

• Food.  In a world where an apple can cost as much as a burger from McDonald's, I feel very lucky to have access to and be able to afford good, healthy, (often organic) food.  I feel very lucky to have the luxury of being able to customize my diet.  No meat, no dairy, lots of fruits and vegetables, very little sugar, whole wheat instead of white.  I fully understand how privileged I am and try to remind myself of this on a daily basis.

• My health.  Even though this time of year I have the immune system of a Jane Austen side character (I'm looking at you, Jane Bennet), for the most part, I'm a relatively healthy person.  I don't have any chronic illnesses, I haven't been bedridden for longer than a few days (except for when I had mono, but mono is the exception to everything), I'm not allergic to grass, or water, or wheat.  Sure, sometimes I'll go to the doctor with a complaint and she'll say "Yeah...never heard of anything like that in my entire career," or a WebMD search yields no results, but I'm lucky.  And I'm thankful.

• Education.  As much as I complain about the technical glitches, costs, and sexist idiots I run across on campus, I feel so fortunate to be on a campus.  With the ridiculous rises in tuition, among many, many other things, an unbelievable number of people simply cannot afford to receive an education.  That I am one of the lucky few is something that I am very thankful for.

• A home.  My house is something to behold.  Down a road lined with watermelon fields and cow pastures, canopied by enormous oak trees dripping with Spanish moss, and older than most of the lucky people living underneath their beautiful shade.  Then, turning onto our dirt road, it's like going back in time and all the while entering a new world.  White and wooden, like a farm house, big windows and lots of light, wooden floors and welcoming doorways.  I love my house and cherish the days and nights I've spent here.

• A family.  Though we may be spread out, stubborn, and often spend our time arguing about things that will mean nothing in a year - "Stop looking out MY WINDOW" (circa 2000) - we love each other.

We could all use a day to celebrate each other and give thanks for what we have.  So happy Thanksgiving, one and all.  

xoxo,

Eliza

~ remembrance ~

I remember 9/11.  I remember watching live coverage of the shootings at Sandy Hook.  And today I have added another day to my memory.

But this one is different.

This morning I woke up an hour before my alarm went off and felt strange - I'm a light sleeper and have two wild kittens, so this is not out of the ordinary, but this morning just felt different.  When I turned on my phone and opened facebook, I felt like someone pulled the floor out from under me.  A shooting.  A school shooting.  But this time not at a school I've never heard of or have to google to find out where it is.  This one is different.

This one is home.  This one is the town I've spent my whole life in.  This one is the school I've rooted for and worn the logo of since before I could speak.  This day, what happens in other towns, other schools, happened here, and now I fully understand the shock and terror that strangers on the news talk about.

No one I know was hurt or one of the hundreds who found themselves stuck in the same building with a shooter, but everyone I know is feeling something today.  We, as a nation, are not strangers to school shootings.  They happen, they leave the nation shocked and confused, they are remembered, but ultimately they fade from our immediate memories and our lives go back to normal.  But until we change our ways, we are doomed to repeat our past.

Here's what needs to change:

• mental health care.  It makes me so angry when I think about the mental health care in this country.  THINGS NEED TO CHANGE.  There are so many people out there who need help - not to be ignored.  These people are so often cast aside and isolated.  Simply throwing medication and stigmas at them will not help the problems.

• our attitudes towards the aggressors .  I know it's a hard thing to talk about, but in most shootings in this country, the aggressor is killed.  That person has family and friends, and in so many cases, those friends and family members are just as shocked as everyone else.  Tonight I not only think of those injured, but I think of the shooter and what he must have been going through to think of killing as an option.

• gun regulation.  I don't care what political party you belong to.  I DO NOT CARE.  I don't care whether you think "guns don't kill people, people kill people," guns certainly make that killing a hell of a lot easier.  Think of all the shootings this country has seen in the last ten years.  Are you honestly telling me that guns had NOTHING to do with that?  Anyone can walk into Walmart and purchase a gun, anyone can buy a gun off the streets, anyone can borrow a gun, steal a gun, and use that gun to kill.  Take away that gun and I'm pretty sure that situation would have a very different ending.  

These, among many other things, need to change in order for us to move forward and get out of this cycle.

Though I would rather forget this day, forget the fear and the anger and the panic, forgetting is what keeps us on the same road we're on.  I hope we continue to stand together and remember this day for what it was.  And I hope one day this type of event brings a reaction of "We must be the ones to stop this from happening in the future," instead of simply "Again?"

My thoughts go out to all those affected.
#FSUnited

xoxo,
Eliza

~ reflections ~

So tomorrow's July 4th.  We've had a heat index of 110.  I've officially run out of tank top/shorts combos.  

It's summer.

And boy, this summer has been a lot different then last year.  Last July I was fresh off a breakup (thank goodness I got out of that one), frustrated with life in general, and packing for a vacation with my mama.  I was excited for the trip but still feeling pretty shitty.

Then something happened. 

The moment we drove out of the neighborhood it was like the luggage in the backseat suddenly didn't contain all the emotional baggage I'd been carrying around with me.  For the first time in a while I was just sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window, watching the cars rush past.  No negative thoughts.  No second guessing myself.  No worries.

Those negative feelings did creep back during the trip, but I had my little ways of pushing them out of sight.  Isn't that one of the things you have to learn in life?  How to control those things that demand to be heard, seen, and thought?  Before the trip I was pretty terrible at it, but something about the hum of the road and blur of the passing landscape lulled me into a moment of self-reflection that was a long time coming.

I could use another road trip like this one.

xoxo,

Eliza

~ d-day ~

Today we remember June 6th, 1944 and the men and women who fought for the cause.  Today I remember both my maternal grandfather and my paternal grandfather, who both fought in the war.  I also remember a very special day two years ago when we (my mom and aunt) took my grandfather Pop to see WWII planes at the airport.  It was an emotional day for all of us and one of his last outings.

{Captain Isadore Schneider}

{in the jungles of the Philippines - 1943}

Pop was a Captain in the Air Force and fought in the Philippians.  He flew through hurricanes, mountain peaks, and flew blind.  Being 25 years old, he was considered the "old man" among the teenagers, but if I knew him at all, he definitely held his own when it came to joke telling and prank playing.

Here's the story that I only heard him tell once, but that has stuck with me and with everyone who hears it.  Written by my mom.

"In the summer of 1943 my dad had to fly his C-47 cargo plane from Zamboanga in the south to Luzon in the north. Part of the way there he was trapped inside a massive hurricane and was blown off course. He knew that he would not be able to fly through the storm and make it back to Luzon without running out of fuel so he decided to bring the plane in at Manilla. The problem - to make the landing strip there he would have to fly his plane between two mountain peaks south of the runway, while being buffeted by hurricane-force winds and flying completely blind. For the next 60-something years, he still wasn't sure how he managed to make it in between the two mountains but he did, blowing out a tire during the rough landing. He taxied the plane to safety and sat for minute or two, in wonder that he'd made it through the storm, between the mountains, past the blown tire. He then glanced at the fuel gauges. Both were sitting on empty. I only heard my dad tell this story maybe three times in my life - the last time in his late 80s when Eliza interviewed him for a history project on WWII. He still wiped away tears as he told it. So many memories, so many close brushes with death. He was one of the fortunate ones who lived to come home to his family and friends. Remembering, this weekend, both those who didn't return and those war heroes (whether they consider themselves heroes or not) who came home with a lifetime of daily demons to wrestle."

It was a wonderful day.  

I miss Pop so much and think about him everyday.  I don't know where he was or what he was doing on D-Day but I know it's a day that he never forgot.  

Towards the end of his life he suffered from dementia, but the one subject he could always talk about was flying.

So, thank you to the men and women and the many members of my family who sacrificed so much for our country.  You are all so loved.

{Pop, second from the left, with fellow pilots at Shaw Field, SC - 1942}

xoxo,

Eliza

P.S. Here's a recording of Benedict Cumberbatch reading the 8am news broadcast from D-Day and Toby Jones reading the 9pm broadcast.  They're chilling.

~ 2014 ~

Usually new year's eve is spent sitting at home in my pjs, thinking about everything that really sucked about the last year.  Pessimistic, I know.  But last night, I switched things up a bit.  Shopping with my mom, two parties, lots of laughs, and movie night with friends!

{went for the barbie look last night}

{Jason Wu for target dress, target necklace, gap shoes}

After resting up from last night's festivities, my mom and I carried on a 5 year tradition of jumping into Wakulla Springs on new year's day.  Since the spring stays a constant 69 degrees, when the weather is cold, the water feels warm!

Getting out of the water was hell, but it was totally worth it!

Thank you to everyone for brightening my days, making me laugh, and letting me vent when I need to.  I love you all dearly.  Happy New Year!!

xoxo,

Eliza

~ little things ~

01. stripes, leather, fur, and red lipstick.

02. picking out an outfit for tomorrow's new year's eve celebrations

03. interesting sights on my walk around the neighborhood

04. hanging up a world map in my room to remind me of how much I have yet to explore 

05. beautiful words from Carson McCuller's The Member of the Wedding

06. a joyous NYE photo from the 1940s

07. if I had to sum up 2013 in one word, it would be exploration.  How I started the year is very different from how I'm ending it.  People departed from my life, people came into my life - some staying longer than others.  I learned lots of valuable lessons, lost battles, found out that someone wasn't who I thought they were, broke down, and then picked myself back up.  I explored my creative side and found out that it's the side I'm most comfortable with. 

 I'm different person.  But change is good.  Here's to another year of lessons, triumphs, new relationships, strong friendships, new opportunities, and an abundant supply of hope.

xoxo,

Eliza

~ merry and bright ~

So far this weekend, I've been to two holiday parties.  One last night (food, drinks, dessert, and all my neighbors) and one this afternoon (cookie baking/decorating, hot tea, and a bunch of my friends).

01. {last night, post-party)

02.

03. {with my beautiful sister}

04. {party outfit #2: F21 top, gap skirt, gap shoes}

05. 

06. (1955 Wamsutta ad}

And remember!  You don't have to have a crowd to have a party - small dance parties are the best, anyway!

xoxo,

Eliza

~ georgia on my mind ~

Today I took a little day-trip to Thomasville, GA for good food, awesome shopping, and some quality time with my mama.  

{target jeans, thrift shop sweater, old navy cardigan, target hat and purse, and converse all stars}

We went to all our favorite shops, did lots of laughing, and found some vintage treasures!

After spotting three vintage hats (that came home with me), I found a box of letters, telegrams, and photos, all from the same woman: Georgetta Smith.

It was so sad seeing a lifetime of memories crammed into a shoe box.  There were wedding photos, photos of a man in uniform, a group of girls playing tennis, a ship leaving port, wartime letters, and a telegram from France.

It's a good reminder to never get so busy that you overlook the little moments in life.  In the grande scheme of things, the little moments are just as important as the big moments.  And they both end up in the shoe box.

xoxo,

Eliza